How To Talk About Money And Look After Your Wellbeing (+ 9 Ways To Reduce Household Bills)
Welcome to Be Your Own Date, a space for all things wellbeing and self-care. You definitely belong here!
The rising cost of living affects us all. This timely post is all about money talk or, if you prefer, having conversations about money, dough, dinero…you get the gist! This includes taking the time to review our household spending, so be sure to read on until the very end to discover 9 simple steps to lower your bills and help you spend less money. “Yes, please!” I hear you say. Don’t worry, I got you!
Let's talk money | Graphic by Amy-Jo Lynch
💷 Opening up about money
I love to talk about money. How about you?
Reading and watching content about personal finance really helps me to stay engaged with hot topics - everything from F.I.R.E. (Financial Independence, Retire Early) to guidance on creating generational wealth to NFTs - and motivates me to pursue my money goals. This is particularly useful when tempted to overspend and go over my budget, or when being impatient and wanting to reach a goal quickly and hurry things along, or to help alleviate that occasional sinking feeling brought on by thinking about the rising cost of living. Yup, that means less Waitrose and M&S, and much more Aldi. I’m down with that!
Therefore, using this platform to open up conversations about money is important to me, especially as it still feels pretty taboo. It seems strange that we often feel uncomfortable having money talks and would rather avoid them, even though it’s an essential part of our everyday lives. The more we talk about money, the more we can make better decisions to take care of our finances, which is paramount for financial wellbeing.
I’m no financial planner, but I am a personal finance enthusiast who cares deeply about instilling confidence and improving our relationship with money and, therefore, our ability to thrive in all areas of our lives. So much so that as an online Wellbeing Coach, I think that it is important to touch on financial wellbeing during consultations - the first step in your personalised Wellbeing Coaching programme - for a more holistic assessment of your wants and unmet needs.
In my last post about setting goals, I shared some of my personal finance goals that I am currently working on, rooted in promoting self-care and wellbeing - do take a look. Financial literacy and developing money management skills are often overlooked, so I would like to encourage you to begin (or continue) your financial wellbeing journey. It is an ongoing process and never too late to start. And in keeping with the Be Your Own Date ethos of getting to know yourself better and taking good care of yourself, I consider these important life skills to be an invaluable part of our self-care and wellbeing routine.
Tip: Budget for self-care and wellbeing. I literally have a line dedicated to this in my budget plan, highlighted in blue, because I am a visual person and this colour evokes the feelings of contentment, balance, calmness and good health (mentally and physically) that I aim for.
💷 💶 Normalising money talks
Learning how to talk about money is incredibly important for our overall self-care and wellbeing. Whilst these conversations can be difficult, just think about the emotional, physical, social and financial benefits. I invite you to step outside of your comfort zone and find a safe space to talk about money and share what's really on your mind, without fear of being judged harshly, even if it does feel a little awkward at first. Think about who you naturally gravitate to for meaningful conversation that goes beyond the surface level - an individual or a group that you trust.
There are no silly questions and here are some that I have come up with for your consideration:
What would you like to know more about when it comes to money?
What are your ultimate money goals and why?
How much does it cost to start / look after your family?
How much does it cost to start a business / take it to the next level?
Before your money talk - how do you feel about talking about money?
After your money talk - how do you feel now that you have opened up about money?
What on earth is cryptocurrency?
What does financial wellbeing mean to you?
To what extent do your personal finances shape your overall wellbeing and self-care?
What are the benefits of investing in 1:1 Wellbeing Coaching to accomplish your goals?
Here’s to feeling more comfortable and confident about having money talks! I hope that having conversations about money offers some relief, reassurance and helps to put you more at ease.
Peer support
How can I progress my personal and professional development? Individual support and peer support can be extremely powerful and motivating.
Get in touch if you are interested in taking part in a small group coaching programme. You can bring up to 2 people that would like to join you in working together on reaching your life and career goals. Alongside online coaching on an individual basis, I can also facilitate online support groups centred around nurturing your wellbeing and self-care. Let’s work together!
💷 💶 💵 The psychology of money
When I consider the psychology of money, I immediately think about how our past experiences shape (and even distort) our thoughts, feelings and behaviours around money. What really sticks out to me are my spending behaviours and what drives this. For example, it is no secret that I am goal-oriented and value budgeting and reviewing my budget plan on a regular basis. I have consistently found a sense of security in creating and updating my spreadsheets from a young age. On reflection, this is a self-soothing exercise and as a result of staying on top of my finances (most of the time), I worry less about money.
As you know, I do put thought into my living versus lifestyle expenses, but once I take the time to look at my budget plan each month, I don’t think much about it until the next month comes around. This arrangement works well for me and I am committed to developing healthy money habits, so long may it continue!
Tip: Think of budgeting as a way to get to where you want to be.
Looking back, whilst we didn’t talk about money much in my household, I do recall enjoying trips to the Building Society with my mother and being encouraged to save for the future and, crucially, with clear goals in mind. From ‘saving for the new Missy Elliot CD (yes, CD!)’ to then ‘saving for university’ further down the line. I was also taught to be independent, work hard for the things I wished for and always pay off my credit card bills in full each month - I’m not quite sure I knew what that credit card stuff meant at the time, but it always stuck with me and I am now highly appreciative of that advice!
If there were financial pressures in my household, I was shielded from them and it was not something that I worried about. I didn’t give much thought to money growing up until I started working and perhaps this, coupled with my insatiable appetite for learning, was the catalyst for my desire to learn more about it. As you know, it is a bittersweet moment to be filled with pride and excitement when opening your payslip, only to see the tax deductions! All of my experiences as a child and young adult have surely influenced my positive relationship with money today and played a role in how I manage my personal finances.
Money conversations can start from an early age ~ I took this photo at the Black Pound Store in West London
Tell me, did you talk about money in your household when you were younger? Let me know in the Comments section below and connect with me on your socials.
Tip: Pause for thought and consider your own money habits and what could be driving them.
💷 💶 💵 💴 Dealing with the rising cost of living
Money on my mind…
…Love this song! Sam Smith may not have money on his mind, but perhaps we should!
With the high cost of living, I am rethinking what affordability means to me. I am also paying more attention to my lifestyle expenses and how I might decrease them, in favour of allocating more money to my living expenses and making different choices without feeling that I am sacrificing too much. Can you relate? Engaging in money conversations really helps me in making these decisions and is a great way to learn from others too. For example, leaning into more home cooking with my partner with high quality ingredients and moving away from less healthy takeaways, leads to more money saved and continuing to spend quality time together.
Don’t get me started on the joys of experimenting with our new juicer! Think lots of pineapples, oranges and apples…and don't forget a touch of ginger and a squeeze of lime too. Is it just me, or does lime make (almost) everything taste soooo good?!
Side note: In addition to scaling back on some things and doing more of others, I’m also encouraged to be more proactive in thinking about different ways to grow multiple streams of income otherwise known as diversifying your income or embracing side hustles, so that you become less reliant on your main source of income. Selling items that you no longer need can be a good start, whilst helping to declutter your mind and personal space too.
✂️ Cutting your household expenses
At this point, have a read of my thoughts on being more intentional with money and budgeting when times are tough, no matter your income. I firmly believe that this is a core money skill and, more importantly, life skill, helping to lay the foundations for financial clarity and success.
Now without further ado, as promised, here are some practical steps to help cut your expenses at home. These are simple and relatively swift decisions to make, some of which you may have even overlooked, including shopping around for alternative service providers. Whether you consider yourself to be frugal, love to splurge or are somewhere in between, these pointers should be useful to you and your loved ones, so don’t forget to share them!
9 ways to reduce household bills
Mobile phone - Go sim-card only - it's far cheaper and you can fix how much you wish to spend on a monthly basis.
Food - Stick to your budget and write a shopping list to help you stay on track with fewer distractions.
Utilities and insurance - Contact your providers for details on new deals or ways to reduce your bills, including exploring a more convenient payment plan.*
Subscriptions - Cancel any subscriptions that you are not using. Yes, you may intend to use it, but if you’re not, consider getting rid of it and bank the money saved instead! For example, I dropped the premium Spotify sub and have kept my Netflix sub for entertainment and downloads which come in real handy when offline. I also ended a premium gym membership, which I hardly used, and have re-discovered other ways to stay healthy, such as hot yoga and walking.
Internet - Contact your provider to negotiate a cheaper monthly fee, especially if your contract has ended* And in some circumstances, if you have lots of data with your mobile phone plan, consider whether you can get away with using it as a personal hotspot for your other devices.
Council tax - Don't forget that single dwellers and those in receipt of government support are entitled to discounts. Contact your council for more information.
Save the surplus - I often hear financial experts talk about saving for your first home and retirement, which is great! I find this inspiring, but it may not resonate with everyone. If this sounds like you, save for goals near and far that are meaningful to you, no matter how big or small they are.
Credit cards - Look out for credit card companies automatically increasing your spending limit, which invariably encourages you to spend more. The onus is often on you to manually revert back to your previous limit if you feel uncomfortable with the rise.*
Review - Take a fresh look at all of your household bills to see if there are any areas in which you can reduce fees or make any cuts, ideally at least once a year.
* These steps might sound a little daunting, but it won't hurt to ask and hopefully it will pay off! For the steps that require you to call a service provider, why not practice beforehand to help get you into a negotiating mood. Remember to be polite even when frustrated with the long waiting times and repetitive music that they subject us to! Kindness costs nothing after all.
Tell me, what are you keeping and releasing? Sounds like a metaphor for life, but I really am referring to subscriptions here. Think streaming services, delivery services and the like. Let me know in the Comments section below.
Final thoughts: Talking about money and wellbeing should be reassuring and helpful, and not a burden! So, let’s do more of it with confidence. Take a look at the Personal Finance Gems section of My Favourite Things, where I share my go-to books, which can help to spark some ideas and start the conversation.
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It’s time to talk money! Be kind to yourself. Be Your Own Date.
~ Amy-Jo ☀️
Disclaimer: I want you to feel better about your finances, but I am not a Financial Adviser. This content is provided for general informational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice.